Plumbing Obsessed Pillows

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'No it's still not fixed'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'When did you swallow the coin?'

'My phone's been tapped!'

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

"Excuse me Mr. Plumber, my son just called, please be careful not to disturb his genetically altered aquatic scorpion colony."

Septic Fields Forever.

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

I hate it when they start without us.

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

"I see you've had a go at mending the dripping tap."

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

"You should have called earlier."

History Class Moved to Room 318. The class relocated because of this mess. The pipe breaking was a "history changing" event.

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.