Amateur Plumber Gifts

Many hardware stores now provide sketch artists to help their customers recall the part they need.

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'Now what?'

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"Darling! - did you know your books are crooked...?"

'My phone's been tapped!'

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

"Excuse me Mr. Plumber, my son just called, please be careful not to disturb his genetically altered aquatic scorpion colony."

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

'Just how much time do you intend spending in this new tool shed of yours?'

"Jeffrey makes all our furniture himself."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"

I hate it when they start without us.

"I think you should turn the water temperature down a bit. The water melted through the tub and then through the floor."