Amateur Mechanic Gifts

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

CLEAR!

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road

Rust test in progress.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

''Meaning of Life' is the next mountain over. I teach auto mechanics.'

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

Last Chance for Everything.

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

Nice park. . .

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Nap time."