Novice Mechanic Gifts

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Turmoil change.

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

Animals are smarter than we think!

A souped up car...

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

"Turn down the bass."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

'I understand you work on foreign models?'

'Awesome!'

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

"Well, there's your problem. The strange clanking sound is just Tom Waits in your engine."

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

Female parking space

"Despite countless assurances from his wife, mother and 'foodie' friends, Ed still did not trust the crock pot."