Novice Mechanic Gifts

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Turmoil change.

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

A souped up car...

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Animals are smarter than we think!

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

"This says Hispanic life expectancy has risen to 80 years."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"Turn down the bass."

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

'Awesome!'

'I understand you work on foreign models?'

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

"Maybe the alignment's off. It's been acting a little buggy."

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

Female parking space

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

"Despite countless assurances from his wife, mother and 'foodie' friends, Ed still did not trust the crock pot."