Car Repair Novice Gifts

"John isn't very mechanical."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

CLEAR!

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Turmoil change.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Rust test in progress.

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Demonic Repossession.

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

Animals are smarter than we think!

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

A souped up car...

'The only way to survive these days is to diversify.'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

"Turn down the bass."

Remote control car breakdown.

"This says Hispanic life expectancy has risen to 80 years."

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."