Automotive Amateur Gifts

I hate to tell you this, but that's a can of maple syrup, not motor oil.

'I wish I could help, dad, but the only engines I know anything about are search engines.'

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'Are we nearly there yet?'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Coexist. Coexhaust.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Inflating Boobs.

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

Mohammad's motors

Route 666

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

'Your mother makes a wonderful spoiler.'

Smile

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!