Automotive Amateur T-Shirts

I hate to tell you this, but that's a can of maple syrup, not motor oil.

'I wish I could help, dad, but the only engines I know anything about are search engines.'

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Mohammad's motors

Inflating Boobs.

Route 666

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Smile

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash