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"We can't come to an agreement about how to fix your car, Mr. Simons. Sometimes that's the way things happen in a democracy."

"To be frank, officer, my parents never set boundaries."

'All our vehicles come with a 24-hour, round-the-block guarantee.'

'The dealer says the warranty is good for the life of the car but he's not responsible if the vehicle doesn't live very long.'

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

'The best time to buy a used car is when it's new.'

"It was owned by a little old lady who only drove it ... no wait, that won't work."

When Astronomers Party.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'Who's having a birthday?'

"You seem like just the kind of guy who would be right at home in one of these fjord explorers."

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

'Your trade-in not worth a lot. Too much wear.'

"I knew you were having an affair with your car!"

"After looking over your financial application, I'm going to have our youngest sales rep show you your options."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Drive-through Therapy: "I don't feel road-worthy."

'I'm just not in the mood.'

"Joey is that your new car?"

"It's a compromise. . . I wanted a convertible. . .he wanted a yacht."

VW issue their customers with gas masks

Steering Committee - Three people trying to park a car.

"Imagine an accident at 60mph..." "It would be like being hit by a 60 ton elephant."

Car crash.

Mufflers.

'Your car will be ready in a minute...the mechanic is saying the last rites now.'

Search 'Engine' No Results,

The SUV: A T-rex on wheels.

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

"Okay, this summer I've been able to buy a speaker system and a full set of dash knobs. Only 4,387 more parts before I have my own customized ragtop."

"So, what's it gonna take to get you folks out of this car today?"

"Hard luck, car showrooms don't count!"

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

"Can you deliver that to me?"

"At this point, there is a lot of pent-up demand for new cars."