Plumbing Novice Gifts

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"No, your other, other, other, other, other, other, other left."

'My phone's been tapped!'

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

The not-so-living wall

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

Gardening for Beginners

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

I hate it when they start without us.

"You didn't read the fine print. This roach spray attracts them."

"I think you should turn the water temperature down a bit. The water melted through the tub and then through the floor."

"You're right, Mister Fixit, we don't need a plumber. You'll have the tub fixed in no time."

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

"I see you've had a go at mending the dripping tap."

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

History Class Moved to Room 318. The class relocated because of this mess. The pipe breaking was a "history changing" event.

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

"You should have called earlier."