Plumbing Novice Gifts

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"No, your other, other, other, other, other, other, other left."

'My phone's been tapped!'

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

The not-so-living wall

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

Gardening for Beginners

I hate it when they start without us.

"I think you should turn the water temperature down a bit. The water melted through the tub and then through the floor."

"You didn't read the fine print. This roach spray attracts them."

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

"I see you've had a go at mending the dripping tap."

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

My mission is to get to the spacestation before the plumber does!

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

"You call that a made bed?"