Plot Hole Fixer Gifts

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Fido's determined to find that bone."

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

A man sews broken hearts back together.

Handy-lion

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

'Yes, I've removed lots of fish-hooks from dogs...'

"Kick the machine"

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

'This injection is a combination of 16 drugs...

"It isn't much of a business plan, is it?"

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.

'Ah - you must be the Polish plumber.'

"Honey wake up, I realized there were more plot holes in that movie we saw that I forgot to point out."

"Did you call someone to come test for margarine residue in the refrigerator?"

Stitches.

'That's one way to 'shut down' the system...'

"This Michael Cohen is giving fixers a bad name."

"Remember girls - these are evil and must be punished!!"

Man bangs on a malfunctioning bathroom mirror to get his reflection to show.

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

Golf Cart Punctures

Orthopaedics clinic - "The 3 most important things in my business are dislocation, dislocation, dislocation"

'I noticed that hair thickener you bought is beginning to work!'

Lotion-bottle manufacturer's meeting

Raking Leaves.