Playground Tactician Gifts

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on playground."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

Alternative fielding positions

Dog helps girl jumprope with wagging tail affixed to rope.

Do you want to win the game or my business?

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'Ready Mum?'

"He's only energetic on sunny days."

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

Office Park

Converted Parking Garage

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

I rule by fear.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

Early on, Billy learned the value of a good slide presentation.

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

Fade to black...

Turn Down For What.

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Yo Yo Tricks.

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

"Goo-goo, ga-ga!"

'What a control freak!'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

Swing