Fairway Tactician Gifts

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

Carlo Ancelotti

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"That was a rumor day."

Football.

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'What a control freak!'

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Tee for Two!

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

"I think I see your problem...You're standing too close to the ball"

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

I warned you to keep it low!

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

Golfers lost on the road

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'