Sports Tactician Gifts

'Forget the bloody sat-nav! The tryline's that direction!'

"Mendez, fake like you're going to retire in order to spend more time with family, then go wide right."

"Try caressing the ball with your bat."

"We can't understand a word you're saying."

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'OK, turn your head so no-one can read our lips... I want you to bunt. Do you hear me? Bunt!'

"Yes, dear, yes dear, but I have some serious ass-chewin' to do..."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Alternative fielding positions

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

The Other Cooperstown

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"I love fast break business success."

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Carlo Ancelotti

'Are you blind ref?'

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."