Sports Tactician Pillows

'Forget the bloody sat-nav! The tryline's that direction!'

"Mendez, fake like you're going to retire in order to spend more time with family, then go wide right."

"Try caressing the ball with your bat."

"We can't understand a word you're saying."

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'OK, turn your head so no-one can read our lips... I want you to bunt. Do you hear me? Bunt!'

"Yes, dear, yes dear, but I have some serious ass-chewin' to do..."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Alternative fielding positions

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

The Other Cooperstown

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"I love fast break business success."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

Football.

'Are you blind ref?'

'With your 4-4-2 formation I don't think you'll see the end of this match.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'