Tennis Court Tactician Gifts

Angry tennis player.

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

US and the EU

Kitchen Tetris

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

Carlo Ancelotti

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

"That was a rumor day."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Human males marking territory.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

'This board meeting will come to order!'

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."