Turf Tactician Gifts

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'What are they?' 'My prize winning divots!'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Football.

'What a control freak!'

Human males marking territory.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

Stone Age

'Quick! Play dead!'

Golf

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'The break is over, guys. It's time we got back to our 'Poker Addiction Support Group.''

They're inflatable trade barriers!

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on playground."

Wi-Fi password?

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

'The workers talk about football, managers talk about tennis, and top brass talk about golf.' - 'So the bigger the job the smaller the balls.'

GREENLAND

Helms Burton Titulo III

'It's a nice course. I just wish it wasn't so close to the airport.'