Terrain Tacticians Gifts

"I could have sworn that mesa was a whole lot father away!"

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'What a control freak!'

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Human males marking territory.

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

"I'll introduce you to important people like Jim, the custodian. He controls the thermostat."

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

The bus home.

Cars with cycles on roof are overtaken by cyclist with car on his back.

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on playground."

Wi-Fi password?

As you like it - Parisians who will never be under police supervision

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

GREENLAND

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

"You're right. . . Maybe it is time we did something about the office heating."

Driver under frustration - no parking, speed humps, speed cameras and petrol price signs.

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'