Traffic Tacticians Gifts

'Fast Lane' 'Slow lane' 'People who don't have time to fight with other traffic' lane

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"Dadgum this color blindness."

Safest Airline in The World

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"3 ounce liquids! Get your 3 ounce liquids here! Approved and ready for screening! 3 ounce liquids!"

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

The bus home.

This Amount of Computer Code

Cars with cycles on roof are overtaken by cyclist with car on his back.

Wi-Fi password?

Boat towing dinghy, balloon towing small balloon.

Driver under frustration - no parking, speed humps, speed cameras and petrol price signs.

Passengers flee a Boeing aircraft.

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

"When are you gonna tell him he's in the protest convoy and not a queue for petrol?"

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

Oz in a Congestion Charge zone.

"I appreciate your calling, but I'm not interested in purchasing Chinese food at this time."

You can only get hit from the rear!

"I'm having all unwanted emails go to an Uncle Spam folder."

New Year's Resolutions for Angelenos

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

Slow Heroes

"The smart car's gone without me!"

Roundabout/Don't Know How To Use Roundabout

Shoot, I need to get over a lane.

'You were speeding.' - 'That's right. To get away from reckless drivers.'

Man plays chess against TV.

"Depends on how you define intuitive."