Race Track Tactician Gifts

Using a runner to pull a tooth.

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

Golf lessons

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

Carlo Ancelotti

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'What a control freak!'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

Ready to move when the other guy blinks.

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

"Try caressing the ball with your bat."

'The break is over, guys. It's time we got back to our 'Poker Addiction Support Group.''

"I'm not attracted to him and we don't get along, but the timing is right."

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

The bus home.

Golf

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

"Face it - there is no good time to get married, have children, and move to Jersey."

Cars with cycles on roof are overtaken by cyclist with car on his back.

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on playground."

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

'I was there the day we were married. Talk about bad timing.'

'We're a coalition force, ref.'

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'