Trackside Tactician Gifts

"Well, you shouted come on the five dog!"

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

Building business relations.

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'What a control freak!'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

'Don't forget. When this photo shoot is over I get a bucket of shiners.'

Snooker.

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

'Better get used to player rotation!'

"You didn't let me win; I let you lose."

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

The bus home.

'Queen you? There's no queen in checkers, and never has been or will be.'

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

Hurdles with Steps

Cars with cycles on roof are overtaken by cyclist with car on his back.

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on playground."

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

'Gee, I'd like to help you folks out, but I'm just a character assassin.'

'That was some hit!'