Race Track Tactician Pillows

Using a runner to pull a tooth.

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Golf lessons

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'What a control freak!'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

Ready to move when the other guy blinks.

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

"I'm not attracted to him and we don't get along, but the timing is right."

Golf

"Try caressing the ball with your bat."

'The break is over, guys. It's time we got back to our 'Poker Addiction Support Group.''

The bus home.

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

"Face it - there is no good time to get married, have children, and move to Jersey."

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

Cars with cycles on roof are overtaken by cyclist with car on his back.

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on playground."

'I was there the day we were married. Talk about bad timing.'

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'

'We're a coalition force, ref.'

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."