Playful Believer Gifts

"Jesus, how many times have I told you that's not a toy?"

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

Call it Tough Love.

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

Candles In Bed

"I spy with my mind's eye..."

Abdul is a great baby-sitter!

Jesus the comedian.

"I didn't say, 'Simon says'..."

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

"John, how are you gonna Baptize me when you throw like a girl?"

You stink at Halo 5. I have no thumbs!

God says no to praying woman.

"Hey, will you kids stop trying to stick fridge magnets on your Aunt Marge!"

"It's true - we totally have the best religion!"

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

God fishing.

They were out of sleeves.

"Hon, it's been more that four hours. Shouldn't we call the doctor?"

"If that's humankind, I'm not here!"