Comical Believer Gifts

New! Stick-on Stigmata

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

'Legal says you'll need more diversity at your Round Table.'

"First, you have to get their attention."

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

"She's a natural,apparently she still believes in faries and Santa Claus!"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And, lo, the Almighty's Horse, Lucille, bestowed upon the universe a sacred meadow muffin, which got hardened by the sun and became the earth.'

'Okay. Where's the fire?'

"Attendance is way up since they substituted fortune cookies for those funny little wafers."

God says no to praying woman.

"Missing elf"

Hey, check this out! There's a guy walking on the water: Freaky!

'Well, well -- this IS a surprise witness!'

God's turnaround time.

'Here it is. You did attend church once when it wasn't Easter.'

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."

God works in mysterious ways.

Pea-headed Pope

Frankenstein's Monster in Church - "Welcome friends to the Church of the Born Again Christians,"

'You're not going to believe this, but now they want You to make the sun stand still so they can have a battle.'

"What if the pushy use it all UP first?"

"Thanks, and you have a nice day too."

"Jesus, how many times have I told you that's not a toy?"

"So, what brings you here?"