Comical Believer T-Shirts

New! Stick-on Stigmata

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

Bunny Pranks

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

'Legal says you'll need more diversity at your Round Table.'

"First, you have to get their attention."

Jesus sends the demons into the herd of pigs who jump into the lake, thus performing the miracle of turning water into "swine".

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

'Okay. Where's the fire?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And, lo, the Almighty's Horse, Lucille, bestowed upon the universe a sacred meadow muffin, which got hardened by the sun and became the earth.'

"Attendance is way up since they substituted fortune cookies for those funny little wafers."

Peter denies Jesus three times.

"She's a natural,apparently she still believes in faries and Santa Claus!"

God says no to praying woman.

"Missing elf"

Hey, check this out! There's a guy walking on the water: Freaky!

'Well, well -- this IS a surprise witness!'

'Here it is. You did attend church once when it wasn't Easter.'

God works in mysterious ways.

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."

God's turnaround time.

Frankenstein's Monster in Church - "Welcome friends to the Church of the Born Again Christians,"

Pea-headed Pope

'You're not going to believe this, but now they want You to make the sun stand still so they can have a battle.'

"What if the pushy use it all UP first?"

"Thanks, and you have a nice day too."

"So, what brings you here?"