Lighthearted Believer Gifts

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"John, how are you gonna Baptize me when you throw like a girl?"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Laughing Zone Ahead

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

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'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

The Invention of the Tea Light

'Good news, folks - no attack today!'

Jesus the comedian.

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

'Take it for stress. It helps to laugh at yourself.'

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

God says no to praying woman.

I hope I didn't hear you correctly, Lance. Actually, I hope so too, Gloria.

A credit to his species...

"Calm down! You're such a worryguts...!!"

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

"Call me!"

'Pastor, 'confirmed' means we only have to attend church on Christmas and Easter, right?'

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'

"I'm sorry, but I've forgotten your name."

"So Jesus, do you prefer Methodist or Lutheran?"

Alcoholidays.

Golf mole

Hiccups. Run for the cure.