Lighthearted Believer Gifts

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Laughing Zone Ahead

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

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"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

'Good news, folks - no attack today!'

The Invention of the Tea Light

Jesus the comedian.

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

'Take it for stress. It helps to laugh at yourself.'

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

"Calm down! You're such a worryguts...!!"

A credit to his species...

God says no to praying woman.

"Call me!"

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

'Pastor, 'confirmed' means we only have to attend church on Christmas and Easter, right?'

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'

"So Jesus, do you prefer Methodist or Lutheran?"

"I'm sorry, but I've forgotten your name."

Alcoholidays.

Golf mole

Newark. Ray.

'Pull up your pants, Al. You're showing more cleavage than I am.'