Lighthearted Drinker Gifts

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

The Reaper's Arms

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

Laughing Zone Ahead

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

'Malty tasking.'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Wine at the Bar

'Do you come here often?'

Shall I be mother?

"Wanna go out?"

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

'I'll be home for dinner pretty soon, dear — I just stopped off to cleanse my palate.'

Getting old...

'We can't go on knocking it back like this - one of us must give it up, won't you!'