Leisurely Drinker Gifts

"Twenty years ago when I started planning my retirement I had no idea how big my bar bill would be."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

The Reaper's Arms

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"Life after death"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

'Malty tasking.'

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

"We should get out to the country more often."

'He's very particular about how far we walk.'

Wine at the Bar

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

'We can't go on knocking it back like this - one of us must give it up, won't you!'

Getting old...

'I'll be home for dinner pretty soon, dear — I just stopped off to cleanse my palate.'

"I love people-watching."

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"Right, let the consumption of alcohol begin."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."