Light-hearted Drinker Gifts

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

Alcoholidays.

"Calm down! You're such a worryguts...!!"

Get crazy once in a while

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

Laughing Zone Ahead

'Malty tasking.'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Preachers with far too much input

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

"Twenty years ago when I started planning my retirement I had no idea how big my bar bill would be."

"Wine goes straight to my head."

Giving thanks.

"My lines have become blurred, I can't remember whether I'm drinking the medicinal or the recreational wine."

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

Golf ball escaping.

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

"It's not the mistake you make that's important. It's how you shift the blame."

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

"Call me!"

"Don't eat so fast"

Bus stop and reader

"John, how are you gonna Baptize me when you throw like a girl?"

"Wrong hole!"

Corkscrew

Christmas drinker

Wine-O'Clock

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obediance School instead...'