Lightweight Drinker Gifts

"Wine goes straight to my head."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

7 Dwarves of Retirement

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

The Reaper's Arms

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

Wine at the Bar

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

'I'll be home for dinner pretty soon, dear — I just stopped off to cleanse my palate.'

Getting old...

'We can't go on knocking it back like this - one of us must give it up, won't you!'

"I love people-watching."

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"Right, let the consumption of alcohol begin."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

Cause and Effect.

'Honey, I got locked in at the corner wine shop. Can you call the police and let them know - in about nine hours?'

"Twenty years ago when I started planning my retirement I had no idea how big my bar bill would be."

"How much do you spend on a decent bottle of wine?"

"How's your beer coming, Eddie?"