Humorous Drinker Gifts

"I'm looking for a red with a fruity bouquet, lightly peppery on the palate, and will get me smashed in under 3 glasses."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'Man...You age great!'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Malty tasking.'

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'The first cocktail.'

''Is there anybody there?'

"Physician heal thyself."

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"It's for his shakes."

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

Do not allow your owner to foul the footpath.

All I'm sayin is let he who has not driven naked and stoned cast the first stone...

Canadian Alcoholidaze.

"I should give myself up... I'm a bad habit!"

Joe's Bar - We sell no wine before it's opening time!

Drunken rooster has a hangover while sun rises.

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

'Don't worry about it, nurse. Mr. Jones is one of my private patients.'

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.

'I don't think I've seen your brother, what does he look like?'

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

"It's not the mistake you make that's important. It's how you shift the blame."

Biclops: "...and then I was outed in '84 and force to admit I liked the men as well as the ladies."

Corkscrew

"Bubbles, huh? Call it what you want...it's still just gas."

'If that's my wife, tell her meow, meuwwf, meew, hiss.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Oh, sure, the whole nine lives thing is great until the life insurance premiums come due.'

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'