Plant Detective T-Shirts

"I'm poison oak. I'm pretty sure I'm poison oak.... Or is that poison oak?"

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'You know that rare specimen you lost - I think I've found it!'

'Heaven welcomes botanists, we've millions of extinct plants that need classifying!'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

'I'm not here for a refund. I'm here for a postmortem.'

'Ha! I knew they were just little trees!'

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

'It's the only way to get to see their more inaccessible plants!'

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

Getting Rid of the Cure

Wildlife

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

'I found the termites!'

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

"Do you hear any bad germs?"

Which is the genetically modified corn?"

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'Put it under my microscope!'

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"What you smell son is called a cigarette: A sure sign that humans are around and we should flee..."

The Hummingbird

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

Is Gypsie Moth in YOUR Garden? Signs to look for...

Elephant Tracks.

"It's a very effective scarecrow."

'Medical researcher have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with anyone we meet.'

"According to my analysis, if Travis has the office cold this week, I'll catch it next week, and then Brenda -- which means that Susan should start sniffling right around Thanksgiving."