Plant Observer T-Shirts

'Normally I'd remove it but I's like to just watch this one.'

The year that carrots achieved sentience was a bad year for vegans.

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Dinner at the Trapdoors

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

Duck Hunt

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Bee flying to another flower.

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

The discovery of asparagus.

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

The prying mantis,

Hermit Crabapple Tree

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

What does aloof mean?

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

'I'd forgotten how lovely it looks outside!'

Monkeys/Humans in the zoo.

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"Beware of the frog"

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Farmer and FIsherman