Plant Sheriff T-Shirts

'Black Peat's in town!'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

The Lawman

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Sheriff.

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

Investigating Yourself

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

Gun Ego

The modern sheriff.

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

Sellafield Nuclear Power plant being run by Homer Simpson

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

'What about high noon? Is high noon good for you?'