Physiatrist Gifts

"Lately, when I wake up, I'm stiff as a board!"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"They grow up so fast."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Madonna of the Pukes.

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

The cell phone soother for life.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'