Podiatrists Gifts

"You've got what we chiropodosts call 'Happy Feet'."

The first reported sighting of Bigfoot's podiatrist.

'Yes, she does need orthotics, but the good news is that you have good health insurance...'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"They grow up so fast."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

The cell phone soother for life.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."