Pediatrician Gifts

"This is gonna hurt like hell."

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

Man pumping 'Ritlain' into a Child Behaviour Clinic,

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"...so today you'll be vaccinating Jenny against measles, mumps and child-targeted television commercials."

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Her husband? No, I'm her lawyer.'

'Why do you want to look at my history. I'm far better at Math and Geography.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'I'm sorry Jimmy, but the results of your tests show that you're not allergic to vegetables.'

Never make a doctor's appointment on Take Your Kids to Work Day.

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

'Are you sure this is a vaccination shot and not a lethal injection?'

'The needle was THIS big!'

"Oh boy, you've grown alright! Better be careful though: From now on, they won't throw you back..."

'A-D-D...are these your grades or your diagnosis?'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

Little doctor.

'Let me go over your symptoms again; you have a 'gugu' and you're feeling a little 'bugaga'.'

'Great biceps! However, you need to get more exercise than just pointing and clicking.'

'Please excuse Josh's tardiness. The American academy of pediatrics has recommended a later start to the school day for teens.'

Balloon Animal Vaccinations

'Why yes, I do remember little Timmy.'

'Superbaby...More powerful than an electric breast pump!'

'Worst case of premature baldness I've ever seen.'

'The blood tests confirm what we thought: he has ALBD - Annoying Little Bastard Disorder.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'I don't know where he gets it from Doc, he eats the same as the rest of us!'

"Dr Wilkins woudl ge to any lengths to develop a rapport with his younger patients.."

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."