Pediatrician Gifts

"This is gonna hurt like hell."

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

Man pumping 'Ritlain' into a Child Behaviour Clinic,

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"...so today you'll be vaccinating Jenny against measles, mumps and child-targeted television commercials."

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Her husband? No, I'm her lawyer.'

'Why do you want to look at my history. I'm far better at Math and Geography.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'I'm sorry Jimmy, but the results of your tests show that you're not allergic to vegetables.'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Never make a doctor's appointment on Take Your Kids to Work Day.

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

'So what's new?' 'Everything.'

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

'Are you sure this is a vaccination shot and not a lethal injection?'

Little doctor.

'A-D-D...are these your grades or your diagnosis?'

'Let me go over your symptoms again; you have a 'gugu' and you're feeling a little 'bugaga'.'

'The needle was THIS big!'

"Oh boy, you've grown alright! Better be careful though: From now on, they won't throw you back..."

'Please excuse Josh's tardiness. The American academy of pediatrics has recommended a later start to the school day for teens.'

'Worst case of premature baldness I've ever seen.'

'Great biceps! However, you need to get more exercise than just pointing and clicking.'

'The blood tests confirm what we thought: he has ALBD - Annoying Little Bastard Disorder.'

'Superbaby...More powerful than an electric breast pump!'

Balloon Animal Vaccinations

'Why yes, I do remember little Timmy.'

"At what age can we expect him to understand digital technology?"

'Is there anything more infectious than the laughter of children?... Besides us, I mean.'

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

"Dr Wilkins woudl ge to any lengths to develop a rapport with his younger patients.."