Paediatrician Gifts

"Why are you hurting me? I didn't hurt you."

'Mable, the doctor said that Timmy is 'autistic', not artistic.'

"My audio is okay, but my video is kind of sore"

"Are you a paediatrician?"

Paediatric medicine

Ah. I knew you were going to say that. You people are so predictable.

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'I don't know why babies always want to pull my nose.'

Proud parents of the first test tube moustache.

"I think I should have got them a bigger trampoline."

"It's worse than you think, doctor - his dad's supper is in there."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"They grow up so fast."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."