Physiatrist Pillows

"Lately, when I wake up, I'm stiff as a board!"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"They grow up so fast."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

The cell phone soother for life.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'