Pediatricians Pillows

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

The GPC has written to ministers about how children can be more involved with the NHS

'I'm grow-ing'

"I'm afraid it's worse than just a case of measles....the red marker your son used to put on the spots was a permanent marker!"

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"As I thought...the carefree extravagant days are over. There's no marble foyer."

'He may look healthy on the outside, but he's clearly suffering from Attention deficit disorder.'

'I wouldn't worry. At that age they put everything in their mouths.'

'Did you wash your hands before dinner?'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Why, those little dickens! Somehow they must have figured out that we're coming to give them their measles shots!'

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Grim Reaper - Hospital nursery

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"GP or chemist? To be on the safe side let's go to A and E."

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

Dolls Hospital - Waiting List

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

Birth of a superhero

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

He's crying again. Should he see a therapist?

Hey, anyone? I'd like some attention. Waaaaa!! You okay, baby? Now I see how this works.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"Pardon me, but I couldn’t help noticing how well-behaved your children are. May I ask which medications they’re on?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"