Children's Doctor Pillows

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

Pediatrics: Anatomy

"You can always tell the pediatricians."

Pediatrics - Anatomy

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"We've made great progress!"

"They grow up so fast."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."