Children's Medicine Pillows

"You can always tell the pediatricians."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"They grow up so fast."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

vaccine wars.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

The cell phone soother for life.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.