Phone Manners Aficionado Pillows

"Yes, this is my majesty!"

'The King of what?'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

Dog Chatlines...

"I appreciate your calling, but I'm not interested in purchasing Chinese food at this time."

"You've got a bit of brain on the side of your mouth."

"You're currently talking to a Millennial, please hold while we try and find someone who speaks 'boomer'."

'Just because you happen to turn into a wolf during a full moon, dear, doesn't mean you have to act like one!'

'Click! I'm out right now.'

"Anderson, Anderson and Andersons - Stephens speaking."

"Both Ears This Way, thank you."

Yes, I'm sitting down, Sally

Hi, just thought I'd touch base...

'Hello? Oh hi... look, can I ring you back, I'm fighting a dragon...'

'Where am I calling you from? Oh, just around.'

'I'm on the throne!'

'It was a complete surprise when the table-setting police arrived. I had no idea I was doing it wrong.'

"Must you look at your phone when I'm talking to you?"

"Murray, I'm going to have to put you on hold."

'Why is productivity down? Everyone is out making a call.'

"Castle."

'No. This is orcs. Shipping is extension 419.'

The Fürther Adventures of the Phone Führer

"This is a recording."

"This seat is reserved for the rest of my legs."

Smartphone Abuse

'I'd like to call my next witness.'

I can't believe it's come to his. I'll be glad to give you candy when you're off your cell phone.

'Call back some other time. I'm awfully busy ignoring you.'