Phone Etiquette Lover Pillows

The Fürther Adventures of the Phone Führer

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Let's shake on it.

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

"Bon appetit!"

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

'You don't have to say hello every time we pass.'

Trolling on social media

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

Would it be rude if I didn't follow them all back?

Man and Woman in the Drawing Room

'Mom, you didn't say please or thank you.'

"Anderson, Anderson and Andersons - Stephens speaking."

"How soon after being rescued from an evil wizard's castle is too soon to text him?"

'You're a telemarketer? Good. I've always wanted to telemarketer off!'

Thank you for holding...

"If it's important they'll call back."

'You're just throwing it on the ground? -- It wouldn't kill you to bring along some paper plates.'

"Must you look at your phone when I'm talking to you?"

Smartphone Abuse

Soothing music whilst waiting for phone line - for Vivaldi press 1.....

Dentist's patient, "Please - You don't have to get up every time a lady enters the room."

Man answers phone in middle of the night annoying his wife.

"Yes, I’m the person who makes all the long-distance decisions… Are you the person I’m about to hang up on?"

I can't believe it's come to his. I'll be glad to give you candy when you're off your cell phone.

'Call back some other time. I'm awfully busy ignoring you.'