Phone Etiquette Stickler Pillows

"The manager certainly has an effective way of dealing with people who don't swtich off their mobile phones in the cinema."

'I'll get back to you when I'm myself, Eddie.'

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

How Dogs Identify Themselves in Upscale Neighborhoods.

"I appreciate your calling, but I'm not interested in purchasing Chinese food at this time."

"He came out from behind his desk. We got 'em."

"Anderson, Anderson and Andersons - Stephens speaking."

"If it's important they'll call back."

'You're a telemarketer? Good. I've always wanted to telemarketer off!'

Thank you for holding...

"How soon after being rescued from an evil wizard's castle is too soon to text him?"

Yes, I'm sitting down, Sally

'Should have shook hands...' - 'Should have bowed...' - 'Should have read the keynote...'

"Must you look at your phone when I'm talking to you?"

'Call back some other time. I'm awfully busy ignoring you.'

Soothing music whilst waiting for phone line - for Vivaldi press 1.....

'No. This is orcs. Shipping is extension 419.'

The Fürther Adventures of the Phone Führer

I can't believe it's come to his. I'll be glad to give you candy when you're off your cell phone.

Smartphone Abuse

Man answers phone in middle of the night annoying his wife.

"Yes, I’m the person who makes all the long-distance decisions… Are you the person I’m about to hang up on?"

A recent study found frequent use of cell phones can present a serious health risk to the incredibly inconsiderate.

'Here's my number. Have the gentleman call me when he wishes to order.'

"I can't talk now - he's right here."