Phone Etiquette Enthusiast Pillows

A recent study found frequent use of cell phones can present a serious health risk to the incredibly inconsiderate.

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

"Must you look at your phone when I'm talking to you?"

"I can't talk now - he's right here."

"Excuse me - I'm trying to have private conversation here!"

'A man's ringtone says a lot about him.'

"It's a bit awkward at the moment, can I ring you back?"

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

Trolling on social media

"He came out from behind his desk. We got 'em."

"Anderson, Anderson and Andersons - Stephens speaking."

Thank you for holding...

'Twitter or tweet-free?'

'You're a telemarketer? Good. I've always wanted to telemarketer off!'

"If it's important they'll call back."

'Should have shook hands...' - 'Should have bowed...' - 'Should have read the keynote...'

Soothing music whilst waiting for phone line - for Vivaldi press 1.....

'No. This is orcs. Shipping is extension 419.'

Smartphone Abuse

'Call back some other time. I'm awfully busy ignoring you.'

"He just called without texting first. How can he be 23 and still not know how a phone works?"

Man answers phone in middle of the night annoying his wife.