Phone Etiquette Enthusiasts Pillows

"Gotta go, we're heading into a tunnel ... hey, why is everyone on my table singing 'Hallelujah'?"

Smartphone Abuse

'I'll get back to you when I'm myself, Eddie.'

Let's shake on it.

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

Trolling on social media

"I appreciate your calling, but I'm not interested in purchasing Chinese food at this time."

"If it's important they'll call back."

"Yeah. I called you a low-down, yellow-bellied polecat. But I didn't mean to hit send."

"Anderson, Anderson and Andersons - Stephens speaking."

'You're a telemarketer? Good. I've always wanted to telemarketer off!'

Thank you for holding...

"Must you look at your phone when I'm talking to you?"

Soothing music whilst waiting for phone line - for Vivaldi press 1.....

The Fürther Adventures of the Phone Führer

Man answers phone in middle of the night annoying his wife.

"Yes, I’m the person who makes all the long-distance decisions… Are you the person I’m about to hang up on?"

I can't believe it's come to his. I'll be glad to give you candy when you're off your cell phone.

'Call back some other time. I'm awfully busy ignoring you.'

A recent study found frequent use of cell phones can present a serious health risk to the incredibly inconsiderate.

'Here's my number. Have the gentleman call me when he wishes to order.'

"I need to take this call outside."

'I put the king on hold while taking someone else's cellphone call.'

There were disadvantages to the 24 hours communications revolution.

Mad Cow Revolution

'He's on another line. I'm going to put you on hold. Do you prefer 60's hits, 70's hits, 80's hits or 90's hits?'

"I know you're new here, but the next time you send the boss a text, don't start it with 'OMG'!"