Phone Etiquette Pillows

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

"Yes, I’m the person who makes all the long-distance decisions… Are you the person I’m about to hang up on?"

"If it's important they'll call back."

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

Man answers phone in middle of the night annoying his wife.

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

'He's on another line. I'm going to put you on hold. Do you prefer 60's hits, 70's hits, 80's hits or 90's hits?'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

The awkwardness of one's first officeplace fist-bump.

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

A senior moment.

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

Conference Rooms - Cell phones being handed in.

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"Can I help you?"

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

A tombstone reads: please note, I will no longer be answering emails. If this is urgent contact Cliff or Rhoda.

"Yes, we eliminated the dress code, but I see you didn't fully understand."

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

How Dogs Identify Themselves in Upscale Neighborhoods.

'I'm afraid Mr. Tibbles can't be disturbed right now.'

"I called this meeting to discuss the appropriate work attire."

'The customer is King'

"Anderson, Anderson and Andersons - Stephens speaking."

'That's a good question, Ossie ... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?'

Thank you for holding...

'When I texted you all regarding the manner in which he died, I was disappointed by how many of you responded with 'lol'.'

'You're a telemarketer? Good. I've always wanted to telemarketer off!'