Phone Manner Aficionados Pillows

"I appreciate your calling, but I'm not interested in purchasing Chinese food at this time."

'The King of what?'

'I'll get back to you when I'm myself, Eddie.'

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

"Fire department? Yes, this is a cat and, well, big surprise here, I'm stuck in a tree... But here's the odd part—I am staring at no less than five other cats, all stuck in this same tree. So weird, huh?"

'Now let's call and see what time it is in CHINA!'

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

"They're both in telemarketing."

Civil war, "You shoot first old boy. No, no I won't hear of it"

"See, this is why you sleep through my 4AM water calls - too much blue light at bedtime."

'I can't read this, you must write more clearly.' - 'If I did that, you'd see all my spelling mistakes.'

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

Robinson Crusoe on the phone - "Big job. No problem, it'll be done by Friday."

"Hey, you're cute, you must give me your number."

"He wants to know if I'm alone."

Man using flag semaphore in a therapy session.

"We need to text about our relationship."

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

Turkey Hotline

"It looks like the internal bleeding should - I'm sorry. It's taking everything in my power not to tickle you right now."

"The doctor is a little squeamish, so don't mention anything gross."

"Oh—pardon the expletive—damn!"

'But it's impossible for me to drive without a phone in my ear!'

'Yes, I'm writing the message down.'

Dog Chatlines...

Babel Construction Co.

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

'Now that we've invented language, I have to tell her every night where I've BEEN all day!'

"You're currently talking to a Millennial, please hold while we try and find someone who speaks 'boomer'."