Phone Joke Enthusiast Pillows

'It's like caller ID. You get to see who's calling before you pick up.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"Ooooh....I'm a naughty girl - I've caught a mouse and now I'm just playing with it..."

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"Our founder was a real joker. That's the first silver dollar he ever glued to the floor."

Sphinx high jinks.

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

Sock drawer.

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

'The McWit boy wasn't likely to go cow tipping on his neighbor's farm again.'

Mother drags away her children.

Ahab's Last Call.

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

Phone: 'The number you have reached has been changed and will change again if you don't leave us alone!'

Lost Dog

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

"Thank you for calling the unemployment office. No one can take your call right now, because we've all been laid off."

"You'll have to clarify. Do you want to speak to the head of the household or my dad?"

How clownfish are born.

'Have I lived here all my life? Not yet!'

"Hello, is that the Samaritans?"

"Do you mean to say that we have both been on hold for half an hour?"

'I've got to hang up now, There's someone at the door.'

"How do I get an outside line?"

'I know you're there, Obama - pick up!'

"I hacked into your bank account to steal your money. But after seeing how much you had, I felt compelled to give you money."