Phone Humor Buff Pillows

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'Can you do anything else?'

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

No Texting

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"I'll have my people call your people."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

A baby escapes from a pram

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

Ahab's Last Call.

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

Do I have a time to take a quick survey?

"Thank you for calling customer service. Before we start, am I mispronouncing your name correctly?"

'That's your misfortune, and none of my own, I'm afraid.'

'This call may be ignored for sanity assurance.'

'Hello, you're through to the swine flu advice line. How can I help you?'

"OMG! You're still there! I'm going to have to out you on hold again while I figure out another way to get rid of you."

'My Mom was a call girl - and retired after 20 years at the phone company.'

"I'm sorry, you're very faint. Could you pant a bit louder please?"

"Hello, is that the Samaritans?"